i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
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