I hate your face
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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