i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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