laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
