Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Randomize
