I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
