Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
