I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Randomize