Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
