i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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