Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
