a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
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