READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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