I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
