My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
