I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
