It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
I intend to get homeless drunk
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
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