I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
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