I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
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