I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
