But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
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I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
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Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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