I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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