I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
