umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
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