I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
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