Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
I just gift wrapped bread.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
