I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
North Korea, Best Korea!
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
