I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
nutella sex= disaster
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Randomize
