Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
