the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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