Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
we're chasing vodka with high fives
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
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Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
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Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
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