Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
