This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
There's always time for handjobs
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize
