hell yes lets make some ravioli
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize
