that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
