Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Randomize
