It's Friday. Sex?
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Randomize
