Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
