She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
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