Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
i now understand why vodka
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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