Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
