um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Randomize
