bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Randomize