Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
