Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
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