We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
