so that wasnt chicken after all
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
