Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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