at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
