I'd wear matching sweaters with you
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Randomize