I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
