I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
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