smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
operation harelip BJ is a go
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
is wine microwaveable?
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
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