mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
