I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
This house was built for laser tag.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
