Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
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