Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
