I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Randomize
