Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
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You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
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I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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