Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Randomize
