You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
the liver wants what the liver wants
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Randomize
