Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
