I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Randomize
