Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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